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Fun Party PSI
2008-10-01

A lot of Fun Party supporters are concerned about how to use their vote in the upcoming presidential election. Some want to vote Fun Party as a matter of principle. Others of a more pragmatic bent, would rather use their votes to shore up a meager bid to keep our nation from total annihilation over the course of the next four years. I can understand and empathize with both positions, but, and it pains me a great deal to say this, The Fun Party will not be taking the White House this year.

As part of the Fun Party's dedication to complete disclosure, the truth of the matter is that September was the first time since New Years that anyone in the upper echelon managed to sober up, and so it was also the first time we grasped that this was 2008, and not still 2007, which means that we completely fucked up registration. So we're not eligible and we're not electable. But that doesn't mean you can't still do your part.

Many people have come up with ways to 'threaten' the nation should we repeat the idiocy of the past eight years. Some, as an example, have promised to leave the country if McCain wins, rather like boycotting a business for advertising on a television channel they don't approve of. Interesting, if perhaps not especially effective. Others promote the notion of just splitting the nation up, letting the reds and conservatives fend for themselves under their nightmarish agenda for a few years until being third world gets to be too much for them. A promising idea, but it would be generations to make it work.

The Fun Party has a simple, effective and rapid solution, a reaction to four more years of senile hate that is sure to have an immediate, positive effect on the future. To explain, we must look to the wisdom and social insights of H.G. Wells. When describing the division between the Eloi and the Morlocks in his book, The Time Machine, Wells was focusing more on social divisions than evolutionary ones, and yet many have (probably accurately) supposed that, given the huge chasm dividing the rational minority and the increasingly self-destructive idiocy that marks the irrational majority of modern man, notably conservatism, that such a similar division must occur of evolutionary and social necessity. At some point, the former cannot help but view the latter as animals, as cattle. One day, our kind will herd and eat theirs, unless they're lucky enough for us to have outgrown the barbarism of flesh eating by then, in which case we'll probably just keep their numbers thin, like in Planet of the Apes.

The thing is, why wait? Why rely on slow, fickle evolution when Wells showed us that social and class forces are every bit as powerful? The Fun Party is, despite its name, not frivolous to a fault. We are great pragmatists, and hate to see a resource go wasted .In this time of economic turmoil, sky rocketing food prices, and aggressive social threat from a terminally suicidal and divisive conservative element, there strangely and suddenly looms a perfect solution, a plan that kills all birds, all of them, with a single well tossed stone, and that is simply to begin eating conservatives.

Now, I recognize that many balk at what might appear to a gross deviation from any ethical or humanitarian standpoint. After all, we're better than them, right? Right! Just like we're better than cows. Or catfish. Or corn. But to make it easier on you, let's paint a simple picture. Let's say that you're the Donner party. Winter is upon you, civilization only a distant memory. You are starving. Some are suggesting that you eat some of the rest of the members of the party. Naturally, you'd have some misgivings. You'd probably and rightly suggest that we must at least wait until people die naturally. And you'd be a good person to make that call.

Now, what if the the party members being targeted for consumption are actually mad orangutans that have broken free from their cages and keep biting everyone and putting out the fire and trying to force everyone to pray to Jesus even though Jesus said not to do that? They contribute nothing to the survival of the party; indeed their every action is absolutely certain to kill off everyone involved, both them and you. And face it, they're not really like us, not any more than bananas or chickens are like us. What then?

Then you kill those fucking apes and have one hell of a barbecue.

And so that's where we are balanced now. If the USA shows the intelligence not to vote for McCain, then maybe, just maybe there's hope. Maybe we can all work together long enough to get this old wagon train safely through to California. But if not, then at that point we're already devouring ourselves. All that remains to be seen is if we'll cut off the weak elements first, or watch the whole body consume itself entirely. Eating a Republican will do any number of things. It will help relieve the burden on our taxed food production, as well as help ease the environmental and population strains. It will curb a seriously malign element in our own evolutionary development. And we'll actually be saving lives, real human lives, people who don't deserve to be killed or imprisoned or tortured at the hands of lunatic subhumans like McCain or Rove. In this way, Fun Party members can make a difference, can even work to save us all from a premature death as a nation.

And don't worry, this isn't eugenics. There's no way we can eat all of them, even if we wanted to, just enough to work the herd back to manageable levels, and maybe instill some much needed caution and humility in the survivors. That is, provided we don't develop too much a taste for it. I'd hate to think what might happen if the conservative animal turned out to be delicious.

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As Dumb As It Gets
2008-09-24

Finn and I were talking politics the other night and, of course, the topic of Sarah Palin came up. Now, from the start, my take on Sarah Palin has been that the single biggest travesty of this election season was that I even have to know who she is, or hear about her regularly in conversation. Sarah Palin is a rather goofy nobody with a handful of tiny scandals riddling her brief and frankly inane political career. She’s a terrible pick for VP, so why was she chosen, and why do I have to keep hearing about her?

At first I was all about the BP angle. But her relationship with oil seems to be modest, at best, certainly nothing a dozen better VP picks couldn’t bring to the table. And the woman/minority/Hillary supporters argument was just absurd. Finn’s conclusion, which I must reluctantly agree with, is that she’s literally meant to be the distraction she’s turned out to be. Everyone is talking about Palin, now, not McCain. All the heat is on her and her tiny failures, instead of him and his major ones, even though she’s not actually running for any significant office.

So, using that as a benchmark to determine how far the McCain campaign was willing to sabotage itself in hopes of misdirecting the gaze of the population, I can’t say that suspending his campaign to deal with the current crisis came as any surprise. McCain is, of course, demanding that Obama follow suit. Now, some are lauding this as a ‘nation first’ initiative. But ask yourself, what crisis is the nation currently facing that either of these assholes need to drop everything and come running? Neither are actually major players yet. They’re both mid level congressmen with iffy voting records. Further, the power behind the throne is McCain’s own party, who by and large don’t like him or agree with his ideas. So what exactly does the current, acting government need McCain for in regards to any of the current problems the nation faces?

The inanely obvious answer, the answer that only a person intentionally deluding themselves could fail to embrace, is that this is more cheap misdirection. McCain and the GOP will do anything, ANYTHING, to avoid being held accountable for their past actions, or being pressured to detail their future ones. They have failed at every conceivable level, and so now they are schoolyard children, coming up with excuses to ditch the fight they picked on the playground.

It’s one of the saddest maneuvers ever seen in US politics, and the only thing that could be sadder would be if anyone didn’t recognize it as the overt admission of failure that it is. What we’re seeing here is nothing less than reality TV, brought to Washington. McCain is delusional and misguided, his party likewise, and their only hope is to keep tossing distractions in our way in hopes that we don’t notice the doddering old fool behind the curtain. I can only hope that Obama and his handlers have at least the brains to not be cowed into behaving in a similar fashion, but alas, the behavior of the Democratic party over the last eight years does not exactly inspire me with a ton of confidence….

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-/|\-
2008-09-04

Aldeberon moves across the night sky.

In the awful flicker of ancient fading stars, unwholesome creatures feel giants shift across shapeless pits of absenc. From their frigid, fragmented prisons, they see the galaxy’s final shape set against the suffocating backdrop of space, even as the first trickles of light from these mangled celestials only now reaches earth. They wait in anticipation; it is impossible to distinguish fear from enthusiasm. Even they are no longer sure.

No plague bursts forth to mark this universal malady, but across the face of the globe, eyes look suddenly haunted. People wear black, as if in mourning, but for whom or what they couldn’t say. All over the world, people will repeatedly stop, and gaze fretfully into skies that seem too colorless and silent. The aurora borealis is almost to the equator, the solar winds kicking up their haunting silent howl across deserted planes.

To many, the curtain now rises on the last great melodrama of existence, but to the wise, the signs instead warn of the singular, hideous truth written by the dead priests of Lemuria, and hidden in the most ancient and secret vaults of that lost city..

I am coming…

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Whup Date
2008-08-28

I am learning to assist editors! Clint finally landed himself in such dire straights with his current non-union job that it suddenly became reasonable for him to hire and train me to assist him. I have to say that so far I love the work, because I have always liked the night life, even if I spend most of it staring at a computer screen.

Its the learning that makes the job. I always like learning new and wonderful skills, and how to cut and load footage onto an Avid system counts! Plus, there is also the pay, which is much, much more than I'm used to. It is very sexy pay, very sexy money. I need to find a way to make more of it, more often. Ideally, I corner two markets, editting and boom, at least until I can replace one or either with voice acting or writing.

The downside is the ride to work, for though the job is hosted less than five miles from our house, some idiot decided to perch the building right on top of the mountain range, so its a brutal climb up, and a nightmarish ride down. The down part is nightmarish due taking place at four A.M., in the pitch darkness, with intermittent psychotics blasting their autos over the hill. Let me tell you, no matter how sleepy I am when I leave the office, I'm wide awake when I get home!