Elevate me 2009

My New Years Evening was decidedly unspectacular. It worried me, because as a rather superstitious person who tends to lean heavily on symbolism, precedent and sympathetic influences, I feel that as the sapling is bent so will the tree be inclined. I am happy to say that so far this does not appear to be the case. In fact, personal luck and validation seem to be flourishing right out the gate.

The insurance payoff for the bicycle accident was modest but still, by my standards, a nice windfall, offering me a cool thousand dollars for my virtually non-existent medical bills and full repairs for my poor bicycle. They were also extremely friendly and helpful. I hesitate to be too positive here, given my lack of experience in these matters, but right now I'd be inclined to describe Mercury insurance as A-ok.

Sound work's come in early, and I got the added pleasure of feeling like two hundred pounds of grade A badass in that I stacked two jobs on top of one another, migrating (almost) effortlessly from the graveyard shift archiving job to second shift boom work, struggling back and forth on a handful of hours sleep a day, plus whatever naps I can catch in one of my various hiding places within the warehouse. That I've done it without any serious degradation of my abilities or going nuts and throttling anyone is a special kind of validation. In fact, its helped confirm my belief that the crew work revitalizes me, for I can feel the energy flow back into me immediately upon the transfer, the dreary hours wasted within the warehouses scrubbed away by the good, honest labor of booming.

But for true validation we must turn to my music reviews, where one of my personal favorite Creative Commons artists stumbled across the review I wrote of him and described it as extremely insightful, cutting to the heart of his music in a way no one ever had before. That...let me tell you, that made my freaking week (as he stated the review had made his.) When I write about politics or even film, there is a certain absolutism which drives my actions, a certainty of my reasoning and insight. There is rarely any doubt in my mind that what I'm writing is right, right at some higher ethical level, what I do is true and good. When I review music, (and I now share my secret shame,) this confidence does not exist. Instead I am plagued with doubt, “Do I actually know anything about music at all? Does any of this even make any sense? Are real musicians mocking me behind my back? In the halls? In their cars as I drive down the street?” That a review I wrote means something to the musician, means that maybe, just maybe, I've gotten something right. It also means that I've managed to give some little thing back to an artist I admire. So lets hear it for 2009 so far!

Comments: 6 --- View and Add Comments