Procyon. The brightest star in Canis Minor [syn: Procyon] (The Dog Star) Type genus of the family Procyonidae: raccoons [syn: Procyon, genus Procyon].
It's like urine in your coffee. Satire and parody online via Dallas Shelby and cohorts (is also occasionally gracious enough to publish things I've written.)
This rather unsettling apparition is one Patrick D. Ashmore, by whose good graces vs. Spy Productions continues to operate.
Mr. Jeremy Wade is likewise to be blamed for the perpetuation of vs. Spy Productions.

Completely useless websites

These sites are special in that they don't do anything. I mean, there are plenty of websites that you might consider useless, but these don't link to anything, promote any notion of expansion or explanation, anything. They just sit there, occupying territory, that's about it. About the only way you can find them is if you a: learn about them from someone else, or b: just start typing in random phrases and see what you get, which is something I like to do occasionally.

http://www.bullshithats.comOH FUCK! I LOVE Bullshit HATS!!!

http://www.pantsthenshoes.com relates to : http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/mz36/, which has kind of a cool art project on it.

http://www.zombielove.com/ relates to : http://www.violetant.com/.

http://www.tasteslikechicken.com (note : intends to eventually have content. This would be regrettable.)

http://www.zilch.com/ (notes : has a link and an e-mail, and isn’t imaginative or funny. Really kind of a waste. Barely made the grade.)

http://www.westerndecay.com/ (I dunno...)

http://www.runinfear.com/ I like it. I want to be it.

http://www.solame.com/ This is the best movie ever!!! HAHA, fucking skater kid!!!

http://www.yousuckass.com/ Guess what? You suck ass.

http://www.youmakemesick.com/ The name of the picture is 'urgent reminder'.

http://www.bitchmakemeasandwich.com/ NOW!.

Websites I recommend

These are the things I go to repeatedly and intentionally. These are generally pretty stable sites with plenty to entertain those who choose to indulge.

Good Flash Humor :

http://www.threebrain.com : Bizarre and humorous garage punk with a dadaist theme (namely no coherent theme at all) and funny flash animations to go with the music.

http://www.homestarrunner.com : One of the best flash sites on the web, a hilarious serious of cartoons and games geared towards children on the surface, but equally appealing to adults. Think Space Ghost, Cartoon Planet and you’re not too far off.

http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk : The Daily Adventures of Weebl and Sometimes Weebl’s Friend Bob. These are difficult to describe. You just have to see them. Ignorant art at its finest.

http://www.joecartoon. : Home of truly childish flash animations mostly involving animals killing other animals and SUPAH FLY!!!.

http://www.evolver.co.uk/wayofthestick.html : The Way of the Exploding Stick is a simple but excellent profile 2-d flash fighting game in which you take a gung-fu stick figure through a building and kick the shit out of a bunch of other stick figures.

The Better Web Cartoons I’ve Found

http://www.angryflower.com : Bob the Angry Flower. Anyone who knows me knows that I love absurdist humor, humor based on unexpected, but coherent twists of reality into ludicrous new forms. Bob the Angry Flower is the BEST for this. Absolute brilliant.

http://www.superosity.com : Chris Crosby’s bizarre comic strip about the life of a lucky and good natured idiot. I like this strip because Chris Crosby is one of the few cartoonists that seems to comprehend that anything is possible in the cartoon reality. Too many cartoonists end up just reusing the same stupid jokes over and over and never indulge in the art of exploring the worlds they created. Superosity, if anything, explores to a fault.

http://www.schlockmercenary.com : One of the single best running comics ever, Howard Taylor manages to do a few things at once. First of all, he maintains a coherent story arc (a rarity in any ongoing series these days, regardless of medium). Secondly he manages to stay, if not entirely scientifically accurate, then at least as close as a science fiction webcomic can remain. Think Greg Bear. Wildly theoretical, but not beyond the realm of possibility. Finally, he does both while managing to make pretty much every daily strip funny as hell. Good stuff.

http://sexylosers.keenspace.com/ : You really don’t deserve to be subjected to the horror of Sexy Losers (formerly the Thin H Line.) Hard, the author, is unfamiliar with the concept of ‘taboo’, so if you like humor centered around necrophilia-incest-bukkake in a good manga style, and I’m sure you do, then you can’t do better.

http://www.pvponline.com/ : Probably one of the more ‘professional’ of the online comics, Scott Kurtz does this on again off again series about the daily goings on at a games review magazine. You’ll go for the comics, you’ll stay to read Kurtz’s rants against, well, a whole lot of things. A man with many opinions, and a fair flare for easy going traditional humor.

http://www.penny-arcade.com/ : Two REALLY hard core game freaks began doing this site which includes comics, reviews, rants, etc pretty much all focused on the video game industry and it is fucking fall down funny. Excellent art work mixed with what I’m sure they and everyone else would laugh at me for calling an actual ability to use a sense of artistic layout and delivery creates a series of unique, brilliant cartoons that usual have me cackling. Often times the punch isn’t so direct, which I like, although there are plenty of times where their opinions are anything but subtle. (I’m serious about the layout thing. Everyone else just does the same damned thing over and over. You can never guess what style or environment a penny arcade strip is going to feature.)

http://www.wigu.com/ : Once this was ‘When I Grow Up’. The cast and storyline have now become entirely other, focusing on a young boy named Wigu. One of those ‘disfunctional yet oddly functional family in a truly messed up reality’ kind of things. Good fun, and poison.

http://www.keenspot.com/ : Keenspot is a home and haven for online independent comic creators. You’ll find a lot to amuse you here.

http://www.catandgirl.com : It’s very much Zippy the Pinhead written by a cynical, x-y cusper lit nerd as opposed to a middle aged ex-hippy journalist. One of the more literate and intelligent things I’ve encountered on the web, I am in love with this comic, although it updates too rarely for my tastes.

http://www.goats.com : I think, and it seems that most agree, that the Goats online comic hasn’t really been trying as much of late, but I still enjoy it and it’s worth going to just to browse back through the huge archive of strips.

http://www.redmeat.com : This website can sometimes go a month without a proper update, but the cartoons are more of that absurdist humor I love so well. I see that Milkman up there on the screen, I wanna BE him, so bad.

http://www.achewood.com : God, this comic's hard to explain, but I love it so much. The most amazing mixture of cute and insane, even dangerous. I also want a T-shirt that says 'What the HELL, people?'

Other Sites Entirely For Entertainment

http://www.leisuretown.com/ : Leisure Town is entirely unique in my experience. It basically amounts to strange little essays of no relevance that are acted out in a series of photos by a variety of gumby toys. A lot of it seems like particularly well done stream of consciousness journal writing that then gets converted over into little story-boards. I love it.

http://www.worldrps.com/ : The World Rock, Scissors and Paper society, devoting to preserving and promoting the ancient sport of Rock, Scissors Paper.

http://www.truemeaningoflife.com : There are a series of websites in which a variety of average joes ask questions ranging from the goofy to the deeply personal, which are then answered by odd personas represented by popular icons. This is, for my money, the best of the bunch.

http://www.cruel.com : "The World Wide Web’s Bitter Aftertaste", cruel lists a daily site that is usually humorous and just as often pathetic or disturbing.

http://www.theonion.com : In case you’re unaware, this is a fairly popular and well known satirical news site. Excellent funny.

http://www.classicgaming.com/starcontrol/ : A fairly complex and detailed site in tribute to the FREAKING BEST GAME EVER TO COME OUT FOR THE PC. Seriously. I mean, I dunno, the new Elder Scrolls game, Morrowind, might hope to contend but that’s about it. Neverwinter Nights? Don’t make me fucking laugh. Seriously, if there’s one game you recreate a Win95 environment for, it’s Starcontrol II. Best of all, it’s abandonware, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find a copy online for free.

http://www.gizmology.net/lovecraft/ : Most of the works of H.P. Lovecraft, one of the early masters of horror, are collected here. How this has occurred, I’m not entirely sure. Perhaps they have been in print long enough they have been declared public domain. Perhaps the person operating the website just doesn’t care. In either case, a great public service.

http://www.jesus.com/ : It’s Jesus!. Jesus shopping for expensive cars! Jesus bathing with young women! This guy has probably caused more aneurysms than any other ten people in history, but he’s one of my modern day living heroes. He has some fairly sound messages, as well. Despite the claims of many unthinking and overly arrogant ‘Christians’, I personally think that Jesus the divine would have probably approved.

http://www.plinko.net/404/ : The 404 Research Lab, studying specialized 404 error pages.

http://www.actsofgord.com/ : This site doesn’t update much anymore, but damned is it funny. For everyone who has ever hated customer service, read the accounts of a game store owner in Canada who adjusted the quality of his customer service to match the quality of his customer. A modern folk hero, The Gord is out there threatening to set his customers on fire for all you retail sales people.

http://www.brunching.com/ : Funny, funny people with music oftened featured on Dr. Demento. A little of everything, but enjoy especially their hard hitting movie reviews.

Good Serious And Reference Websites

http://research.amnh.org/entomology/social_insects/ : Let’s face it. I think social insects are the coolest thing in the world.

http://www.rotten.com/ : All the news you wish you’d never known. Rotten finds the really unpleasant stuff, the things we all know occur but pretend don’t. Only read this when you can handle the stress, and avoid the autopsy photos. (also hosts www.boner.com, strange and amusing photos of truly odd, ironic or implausible things).

http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/ : A growing collection of public domain writing and literature. Pretty damned nice. Send them a thank you or even some money.

http://www.memepool.com : A collection of interesting cultural and social phenomena as witnessed through the www. An excellent way to search randomly for something new to entertain yourself with.

http://www.metafilter.com : Similar to memepool, only with chat strings to go along with the posts.

http://www.erowid.org/index.shtml : Everything you ever wanted to know about psychoactive drugs. More to the point, everything the idiots running this nation aren’t telling you. An excellent, open and fairly honest resource for those wishing to investigate psychoactive chemicals.

http://www.sacred-texts.com/bos/ : A strange but fairly interesting collection of pagan archives collected from a variety of sources, ranging from philosophical musings reminiscent of the Golden Bough to love spells donated by your local wiccan.

http://www.nizkor.org/features/fallacies/ : Because you were already wrong the minute you opened your mouth, you jackass.

http://www.thememoryhole.org/ : Today’s news is not written with the intention that the people remember it for more than a couple of days. As a result, many news trends this month contradict directly the articles and opinions expressed by the same sources a few years, or even months, earlier. The Memory Hole is a young but growing site devoted to trying to make us pay attention, long term, to what those in power are telling us and doing to us.

http://talkorigins.org/origins/faqs.html and http://vuletic.com/hume/ : Having trouble dealing with the ignorant 49% of the US population that still doesn’t comprehend that we evolve genetically the way that apples fall to the ground when dropped? Get your evolution apologetics on with these two helpful websites.

http://www.subgenius.com/ : The Church of the Subgenius, my religion, way of life and source of spiritual and fiscal inspiration. I especially recommend the 'hear' section, which contains MP3's of 'The Hour of Slack'. Hear the word of Stang in all its convoluted glory.

http://www.principiadiscordia.com : The entire text of the Principia Discordia, the principle religious text of the Discordian Society.

http://www.invisiblelibrary.com/ : The Invisible Library is a collection of literary works that only exist as fictional concepts inside of other literary works. I actually have a contribution, Hive Queen and the Hegemon, The! Keep in mind, this is just a list, these works have not actually been drawn up.

http://www.negativland.com/ : Negativland is one of my favorite groups of musical artists, taking a variety of found sound and loops and creating incredibly hilarious yet relevant little commentaries from it. The website is a good media barrage.