vs. Spy : The Cold, Hard, Throbbing Facts
Actual Name : Michael B. Heaney
Actual Birth Date : September 5th, 1973
Actual Present Occupation : Coder
Actual Affiliation with the U.N. : None
Important Physical Facts :
Present Physical/Temporal Location : The township of Fayetteville in
the county of Washington, within the state of Arkansas in the country
presently defined as the United States of America in the continent of
North America on the planet Earth in the Solar System Sol, galactic
body Milky Way, Local galaxy group, December 20th, 2001 years after
the rough approximation of the birth of some peoples' dead messiah.
Height : 6'2"
Weight : 230 lbs
Vision : 20/1600
Venereal Diseases : None
Blood Pressure : 120 over 90
Blood Type : O-
Teeth : 32
Species : Homo Yetsinyny
Physical Constitution : I'm made of CHEEEEEEEEEEEESE
Sexual Orientation : North by Northwest
Minor Social Relevancies :
Religious Affiliation : Church of the Subgenius
Political Affiliation : The 'You're All Idiots' party.
Long Term Goals : Further Subgenius colonization of another solar system.
Found a utopian society, utopian meaning 'a society where the basic
problems of running a society have been solved to such a degree
that they take up little or no energy, allowing the citizenry to
devote more energies to the progress of the Yetsinyny race than
they do to its maintenance.' Create the 'Tomato Pie'. Have sex
in zero gravity.
Present Hobbies : Creating Music from any and all available sources.
Learning to create other forms of art, mainly video, film and web.
White Crane Gung Fu. Cooking. Games of any and all sorts, from
the athletic to the strategic. Writing. All things pornographic.
Apathetic Dissidence.
Romantic Status : Single
Other Relevant Projects : Contributor to 'The Pasquinade'
Favored Hand : Right
Present Employment : Burbank Steel Treatment, Inc.
Tricky Bullshit That Will Help You Think You Know More About My Character :
Diagnosed Mental Illnesses : None
Favorite Sexual Positions : The Standing 69.
The one where two women engage in 69 or
'fighting crows' while each getting
fucked by one guy at either end.
Multi Bene! Let's face it, most of
my favorite sexual positions revolve
around some take on the 69.
Favorite Written Works : One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest – Ken Kesey
Grendel – John Gardener
V for Vendetta – Alan Moore
The Principia Discordia – Malcolypse the Younger
The Fifth Business – Robertson Davies
Favorite Musicians : Peter Murphy (Bauhaus)
Negativland
John McIntire (Tortoise, The Sea and Cake)
Mark Knopfler (Dire Straights)
David Lowery (Camper Van Beethoven, Monks of Doom,
Cracker)
Claude Bolling
Favorite Movies : The Man who Would Be King
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Rushmore
Dr. Strangelove
Zazel
Favorite Animations : Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Wicked City
'Rejected'
James and the Giant Peach
Robot Carnival
Favorite Foods : Really well made Beef Stroganoff
Green Curry
Well Made Wet Burritos
The Sandwich
Most types of dumplings or Dim-Sum
First Seven Words I Thought of (Besides those ones and these ones):
Ambiguous
Spelling
Fabricate
Stars
Martyr
Fire
Quiver
Credit where credit is due (what you're looking at in the background)
Artwork of Milo Manara, french erotic artist/comic artist .
Krazy Kat and Ignatz, from the comic work of George Herriman.
Blue Feather representing Illusions : Tales of a Reluctant Messiah
by Richard Bach.
Thomas Pynchon, Author of, among other things, the Crying of Lot 49.
Great Cthulhu, in statue form. Statue fashioned by Stephen Hickman.
Six String Samurai, the Movie.
Machievelli, Author of 'The Prince'.
Hunter S. Thompson author of, among other things, Fear and Loathing
in Las Vegas.
Golden Apple with K engraved in it (kallisti) symbolizing Eris
and the Discordian Movement.
Bob the Angry Flower, comic written by Stephen Notley
The standard 69, how I love it so. Most web pictures depicting the 69
are same-sex.
J.R. Bob Dobbs, founder and Icon of the Church of the Subgenius.
More Milo Manara.
Yet More Milo Manara.
The Face on Mars.
'Bob' as Napolean.
A glorp.
Some Crab.
Artwork of Donald Roller Wilson, now a Fayetteville local.
The Band 'DEVO', may the gods bless them.
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