The Straight Up Features : Shine On Georgia Moon Whiskey

I almost feel guilty writing this, but Shine On Georgia Moon was such a unique experience that I had to review it. This is definitely an instance where it's not the quality of the liquor (for Georgia Moon has none and proudly displays this fact) but the amusement and education that drinking it provided which causes me to herald its presence to others.

As you can see, I was unable to immediately locate a picture of it on the net. I'm going to try and make one myself, but in the meantime I've posted a picture of these mason jars to give you an idea of what you'd be looking for. Simply fill those mason jars full of any perfectly clear liquid (like water), cap it off, slap a cheap, brown 'paper bag' label on it and you have Georgia Moon's Corn Whiskey. No expense is spared

Shine on Georgia Moon proudly advertises the fact that it is aged less than thirty days (although I feel kind of cheated since I feel certain that by the time I actually grab a bottle from the shelf, it's sat there longer than that). Even knowing this, I don't think that many people outside of the alcohol making business will be prepared for the experience. Georgia Moon allows you to consciously appreciate the complexities of the aging, purifying and distilling process by avoiding most of that same process itself (We always miss them when they're gone).

The first thing you'll notice when you open the jar is the overwhelming smell. Imagine if somehow tequila could go bad. Then imagine this rotting tequila ferments a little more. That's the smell that will hit, nay, club, nay, beat the FUCK out of you when you first uncap that ominous mason jar. Once you've overcome the odor and taken a sip, you'll think 'actually, that's pretty smooth. It doesn't burn like I thought it would and doesn't taste too bad'. Then you'll realize that the only reason you aren't having these experiences is because the whiskey has coated your tongue and throat in a thick, oily residue. At that point you think 'what in the name of god was I thinking?' Then the flavor hits you. The second picture is to give a more or less accurate impression as to what drinking Goergia Moon is like.

How do you finish off an entire mason jar of bizarre unfiltered corn whiskey, you might ask? Well, a friend of mine used the scent of the drink as a clue to how to put it to use. We mixed it up in Pina Coladas. It worked out perfectly! I figure, so long as you mix heavily, you can substitute it for tequila in margaritas and the like. Keep in mind that I am not touting this as a mixer, I'm reviewing it as a straight alcohol. I'm just saying that if you DO end up with a bottle, the only way you're going to get rid of it is to either mix it (which can be done, even enjoyably), or to build some sort of combustable engine which can use the stuff as fuel.

Key facts about Shine on Georgia Moon :

Alcohol Content : 40%. The guy who I bought it from has had the true blue Ozark moonshine, White Lightning, and claims that Goergia Moon tastes exactly like an 80 proof (weaker) version of it.

Age : Less than thirty days, it's less than thirty days!!! On a good day you'll manage to get a bottle that honest to god was cooked up by someone that very same lunar cycle!

Bottle : You may think 'hey, I get a free mason jar out of it! You will never put anything else in that mason jar except perhaps animal organs you wish to preserve.

Price (.750) : $6-8 for a bottle. Probably the single cheapest alcohol I'm ever likely to review unless the dollar buckles. Dubiously worth every penny, too.

Notes : I say try it. It's not gonna cost much, and if nothing else, one sip will teach you SO MUCH about why those other brands do what they do. You'll cuddle your vodka and whisper 'you were filtered through charcoal FOUR TIMES, yes you were!'.

Final Standing : Angry Cussin' Drunk