Older Entries:


The Morale of This Story Is : Watch More Chowder - 2008-10-25

Why I Hate Saturn - 2008-10-23

The Good News - 2008-10-22

Shadowbox - 2008-10-15

SUPER ANGER - 2008-10-15

Furious in Los Feliz - 2008-10-08

Fun Party PSI - 2008-10-01

As Dumb As It Gets - 2008-09-24

-/|\- - 2008-09-04

Whup Date - 2008-08-28

The Joys of Activism - 2008-08-27

Hauled Over - 2008-08-19

Oh, Hai - 2008-08-12

The Pros and Cons of Drinking Beer - 2008-07-21

Atheism Redux III - 2008-07-17

Atheism Redux II - 2008-07-15

Atheism Redux - 2008-07-11

slash u - 2008-07-11

MASTERS! - 2008-06-23

From Heck - 2008-06-18

Silly Lizard People! - 2008-06-10

De-Activisim - 2008-06-03

In For A Pound - 2008-05-29

What a Window Washer You Would Be... - 2008-05-19

What Is It About Winning An Election That The Democrats Find So Distasteful? - 2008-05-15

Bland Omens - 2008-05-09

First Rule of Hate Club - 2008-05-02

Get the Lead Out, Red! - 2008-04-18

Art Week - 2008-04-10

Uroboros - 2008-03-27

Goodbye Steel Plant, Hello Nightclub! - 2008-03-24

Passions, Pt. 4 - 2008-03-04

Passions, Intermission - 2008-02-19

Passion Part II - 2008-02-13

Passions, Pt. 1 - 2008-02-11

Wards of the State - 2008-01-30

Flute Building - 2008-01-23

Keep It Real - 2008-01-17

Goddamned Stupid Microsoft Word - 2008-01-10

Live Grenades - 2008-01-10

Welcome Home, Vendor! - 2008-01-08

A Quest for Fantastic Women - 2007-12-11

The Hot Vote - 2007-12-04

Unshackled - 2007-12-04

Disappointment in November : The New Kid - 2007-11-26

I'm Write - 2007-11-13

The Stone Bar - 2007-11-12

Insert Picture of My Eyes Rolling Here - 2007-11-07

Sliding Deeper into Obsession - 2007-11-01

November Part II : Nuts To Your Fucking Village - 2007-10-29

Daisy's Been Around - 2007-10-23

Level - 2007-10-16

Screwed Up - 2007-10-16

More polichat, but not about November. That will be later... - 2007-10-09

Why November Will Disappoint Me - 2007-10-08

Thoughts on Family - 2007-09-25

The Job - 2007-09-18

My Checkered Present - 2007-09-10

When Vendor Was in Pharoah's Land - 2007-09-05

Maker - 2007-08-29

Bruhlhand - 2007-08-22

A Gut Feeling - 2007-08-21

The Will to Fail - 2007-08-08

Be My Miyagi - 2007-07-26

Epiphany - 2007-07-23

Move Move - 2007-07-17

Xeno's New Art (A Complaint and a Solution) - 2007-07-13

Little Things - 2007-07-09

Why I'm a Subgenius - 2007-07-06

The New Rage - 2007-06-27

A Reminder - 2007-06-26

The Weekend - 2007-06-20

Throttle - 2007-06-20

Rise of the Griffith Street Coyotes - 2007-06-14

L-4 Dialogues - 2007-06-12

Icons - 2007-06-07

The Arrogance Fallacy - 2007-06-04

Fer Freakin Finally - 2007-05-30

Vendor X in Costa Rica - 2007-05-23

Hamburgeusa Especial Con Caballo - 2007-05-18

It Has Been |0|3|3| Years Since All of Vendor's Things Were Consumed By Fire - 2007-05-08

The Open Season - 2007-05-07

Low Tensions - 2007-05-02

Second Life - 2007-04-25

Matters of Taste - 2007-04-16

Vendor X Online Targa Alpha Channel Tutorial - 2007-04-09

A Workhorse Metaphor - 2007-04-08

Disillusionment - 2007-04-03

Don't Return to FUN PARTY LAKE - 2007-04-03

Repost - 2007-04-03

Whiskey and Grind House - 2007-03-29

Wrong Way Up - 2007-03-19

Fourth Town - 2007-03-10

March - 2007-03-01

All God's Chillin' Gotta Suffa - 2007-02-20

Weren't Dog Guts Involved Once? - 2007-02-14

Someone Set Us Up The Bomb. - 2007-02-11

Let's See What's Mine - 2007-02-04

Pug Vitalis - 2007-01-31

We're In For Some Chops - 2007-01-29

I am Jack's sense of moral outrage (In Defense, Part III) - 2007-01-18

The Po-Lighter Side (Dawkins, II) - 2007-01-16

In Defense of Dawkins, Part I - 2007-01-10

Page of Dreams - 2007-01-05

Bender's Back, Baby! - 2007-01-03

Perks - 2006-11-14

Im in ur studio...missin' ur ky00s - 2006-11-10

Celebration - 2006-11-08

How The Other Half Lives - 2006-11-02

Rebreak - 2006-10-19

The Nature of the Appeal - 2006-10-17

Silent Hill - 2006-10-12

Coherence - 2006-10-09

Another Brilliant Plan - 2006-10-07

Fuck the Little Children - 2006-10-05

Be-tray-OR - 2006-10-02

5th and Spring - 2006-09-27

The Return - 2006-09-17

Week In Review - 2006-09-10

The Lost Days - 2006-08-31

Revisit - 2006-08-27

Love and Respect, But Especially Respect - 2006-08-07

Another Simple Social Solution - 2006-08-02

The Good News - 2006-07-25

I don't even know who I am anymore... - 2006-07-18

Level Eight : Marsh Steel Treatment - 2006-07-13

William's Bird - 2006-07-12

The Secret Lives of Joggers - 2006-07-11

Don't Go Back to Noise Ordinance Lake - 2006-07-06

Postmodern - 2006-06-30

48 Hours - 2006-06-27

Not Afraid of the Police - 2006-06-22

Token John Lennon Music in the Background - 2006-06-20

Mike Dreams of Broken Noses - 2006-06-14

The Tire Went Flat Four Miles from the Train Station. I am Exhausted. - 2006-06-07

Seeing the Big Picture - 2006-06-06

A Short Review - 2006-06-01

Wet (boom) - 2006-05-25

Critters... - 2006-05-19

A Moment We've All Been Waiting For - 2006-05-12

In Which Mike and Clint Spend a Weekend in Joshua Tree National Park and Mike Almost Breaks His Vow - 2006-05-10

Major Credit Card Numbers Stolen - 2006-04-26

Mud in your Eye - 2006-04-18

Piggy! Noooooooo! - 2006-04-07

Vendor X Loses His Cool - 2006-04-05

The Cloud Cover : Part I - 2006-04-03

Sundry Pies - 2006-03-22

The Entity - 2006-03-15

In Which Our Hero Forces His Friend To Wander For Miles Through The Chilly Streets of Los Angeles in March - 2006-03-13

The Truth about Deviance - 2006-03-08

Melody is Passe - 2006-02-26

Bring Back My Swinging Media - 2006-02-16

Zero Hour : Part III - 2006-02-09

Zero Hour : Part II - 2006-02-08

The Zero Hour Approaches - 2006-02-07

Conversations Which May WELL Have Taken Place (You Don't Know!) - 2006-01-31

Fish Boy's Dream - 2006-01-24

The Chocolate Message - 2006-01-18

A Matter of Orientation - 2006-01-08

Feeling Better at the Expense of Others - 2006-01-05

I'd Like Your Opinions About 2006...thus far.... - 2006-01-02

My Creation... - 2005-12-27

How Vendor X Got His Pox Back - 2005-12-21

Burbank does NOT know how to party... - 2005-12-20

Just To See - 2005-12-11

Dosemity - 2005-12-05

A Thing of Beauty - 2005-11-27

Sitting Pretty - 2005-11-22

The Movening - 2005-11-12

Act III - November - 2005-11-07

Three Fine Events - 2005-10-25

It's My Time and I'll Cry if I Want To - 2005-10-20

Back and Happy - 2005-10-18

I am Coming... - 2005-10-06

Condition Yellow - 2005-10-02

A Movie I Like! - 2005-09-26

Been Missing You - 2005-09-15

Know Your Signs and Portends - 2005-09-13

Vendor X at the Hollywood Bowl - 2005-09-11

Better Off Dead - 2005-09-07

Public Service Announcement - 2005-08-29

WAR(r)! - 2005-08-26

Exponentials - 2005-08-22

Return to Disney Studios (or Don't Go Back to Disney Studios Lake!) - 2005-08-15

You'll Be Glad I Did It - 2005-08-10

We Should Have Evolved Beyond This Centuries Ago - 2005-08-04

Step OFF - 2005-07-28

A Forsaken Balloon Slowly Festers in my Office Trashcan... - 2005-07-21

Are You Superconnected Now? - 2005-07-14

Where it counts means my John Thomas - 2005-07-12

A Day at the Movies - 2005-07-02

The Earth Shook - 2005-06-14

The Talk of the Town! - 2005-06-08

Fuck the Pink Boys, Quit You're Job, Slack Off and Worship Bob Dobbs - 2005-05-26

For Some, Opinions Are Like The Divine Intervention of a Loving Savior - 2005-05-19

Constant Drift - 2005-05-17

Follow Up - 2005-05-10

I been tired...sick, too... - 2005-05-09

Lemmee Tell Ya! - 2005-04-30

How To Jog - 2005-04-26

Don't Eat World - 2005-04-20

My Glorious Creation! - 2005-04-17

UPLIFT STATUS! - 2005-04-10

So...What Are You Trying to Say? - 2005-04-06

Your Life Has Lost Its Vertical Hold - 2005-04-04

When Pepper Was in Vendor's Land - 2005-04-01

Some Quick Notes About The Weekend - 2005-03-31

As I Promised - 2005-03-24

X Impressions - 2005-03-22

Most people are hurt or shot while having fun. - 2005-03-19

Today's Random Opinion - 2005-03-16

Three Cylinders of Satisfaction - 2005-03-11

All They Told Me Is That The Job Paid $75 Cash And I Had To Wear A Gorilla Suit - 2005-03-06

Live From Manhattan Beach - 2005-03-02

Appear Suzlu Nomaz - 2005-02-27

The Point - 2005-02-23

Gray Days - 2005-02-20

I Think All Young Actors Are Cunts! - 2005-02-14

The Plodding Footsteps of Progress - 2005-02-01

Mud In My Eye - 2005-01-27

The Spirit of Arlo Guthrie Lives On In The Form of a Naked Trucker Playing the Guitar. - 2005-01-25

My Brave Little World - 2005-01-22

I Wish I Could Be More Positive - 2005-01-18

Am I Not a Brother To You? - 2005-01-13

Working Man - 2005-01-10

Los Angeles, 2005 - 2005-01-09

Hiya, Dad, I'm in JAIL!!! - 2004-12-21

The Greatest Act of Man is Prank - 2004-12-10

Crude and Random Insight - 2004-12-09

Oh the things we learn... - 2004-12-03

Let's just test a few apostropes, shall we? - 2004-12-02

Episode 318 : Hey, Scumsuck! - 2004-12-01

There was a time when I was more inclined to LIKE people I hadnt met, yet... - 2004-11-29

Petersons Field Guide to Hollywood Extras - 2004-11-25

I sowwy... - 2004-11-22

Infocom Guide Us - 2004-11-15

If you read this whole thing, I guess you have earned some kind of reward... - 2004-11-09

Reboot! - 2004-11-05

Seriosly. Go fuck yourself, America. Go and FUCK yourself. - 2004-11-03

Two Photos - 2004-10-31

A Simple Entry To Pass The Time - 2004-10-27

The Concrete and the Clay Beneath My Wheels - 2004-10-21

Whotta Bag A' Dicks - 2004-10-13

Another Lost Weekend - 2004-10-12

Dormancy - 2004-10-07

Id Call This Entry Revenge, But Im Saving That Title For An Actual Instance of Revenge, or For When I Join The Crew of The Revenge - 2004-10-04

Is is ALL FUCKING gone. - 2004-09-30

Scum Love - 2004-09-23

My weekend at 6-8,000 feet. - 2004-09-22

Praise Be - 2004-09-17

Bombs and Cornbread - 2004-09-15

Do Waitresses Dance and Other Strip Club Tales - 2004-09-14

Another long overdue post - 2004-09-13

Things To Do And Eat - 2004-08-17

Working, So Far - 2004-08-12

Crazy Geeks In the Midst - 2004-08-03

From the depths of delusion... - 2004-07-29

The Story of Authority - 2004-07-22

Who Put The Bop in the AMERICAN ONE DOLLAR BILL? - 2004-07-16

The Call of the West - 2004-07-08

Don't Just Throttle, Throttle With PASSION - 2004-07-05

What Is The Silent Ethic? - 2004-06-30

The New Face of Vendor X - 2004-06-28

All things are either one cup, or one third cup. - 2004-06-21

I Saved The Day! - 2004-06-09

Touching Base - 2004-06-02

Your Liver Is Evil, and Must Be Punished - 2004-05-31

Yay, Gays! - 2004-05-24

All Caps Means I'm Passionate - 2004-05-17

Some Good Things Happen - 2004-05-12

Come With Me Back To The Mecha Of Our Childhood - 2004-05-10

Mike Feels Like An Ass - 2004-05-06

Mike Feels Like An Ass - 2004-05-06

Please Push the Validate Button - 2004-05-05

Some Bad Things Happen - 2004-05-04

Michael B. Heaney, Shirking Responsibility Since 1992. - 2004-04-13

[when] did u c your [last] *flying saucer* - 2004-04-06

Too Much Media Exposure Makes Mike a Ranting Asshole - 2004-04-01

The Chef RUI3Z U!!! - 2004-03-29

Stranger At The Gates - 2004-03-21

Read Achewood and Watch Firefly. DO IT! - 2004-03-20

I'm BACK, Baby - 2004-03-15

Never get off the boat. - 2004-03-05

Commandment 11 : SHUT UP! - 2004-03-02

Happy Days are Here Again - 2004-02-23

Talk is cheap. Free, even. - 2004-02-20

I Also Taught Her How to Say Aqui - 2004-02-17

AKIRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 2004-02-12

This is a test - 2004-02-08

Refuted Thus (and other stories in which inanimate objects turn on me...) - 2004-02-04

Hey, Vendor X - 2004-02-02

God of the Snow-font Discusses The Written Works of Jonathan Cott - 2004-01-27

I'm but mad west to east... - 2004-01-14

I'm A Lot Like...Omelas. - 2004-01-07

Fer Freakin' Finally! - 2004-01-05

Works both Great and Small - 2003-12-31

If Only They'd Been Afraid of Freakishly Pale People - 2003-12-19

My Blood Pressure is 142 over 81 - 2003-12-15

Doing It Right - 2003-12-02

A Positive Response - 2003-12-01

A Few Different Things - 2003-11-18

Ah, Hell No, Earthharp! - 2003-11-10

I really have been openly threatening pretty much everyone in power, lately... - 2003-11-10

'The Curse of the Mummy' is my favorite stupid joke ever. - 2003-11-02

Jack of All Pretension - 2003-10-21

Beer and Black Coffee - 2003-10-20

The Sky's Gone Out - 2003-10-08

I'm sure we all have our own ideas on what to do to the Buddha if you meet him on the road... - 2003-10-07

Beer, Bonfires and Backhoes. - 2003-09-22

Problems Undiscovered - 2003-09-17

The New Theocracy - 2003-09-17

Please Understand How Hard I'm Working to Keep You All Alive - 2003-09-08

Buncha Goddamned Firsts - 2003-09-02

I go a ta fah fo FIGH DOLLA!!!! - 2003-08-26

Whose Metaphor are You? - 2003-08-26

Don't ask me for the physical address. I do not know it. - 2003-08-18

Not Benedict - 2003-08-11

The Peaks and Valleys of my Day to Day Routine - 2003-08-07

I've Been Singing About These Ducks ALL NIGHT - 2003-08-05

How To Spend Your Summer - 2003-07-30

It's a Sexy Revolution! (Duley!) - 2003-07-23

Step Out for a Moment. - 2003-07-12

The Night I Forgot To Drink - 2003-07-08

Creation Above Board - 2003-07-05

The Boy at the Door - 2003-06-29

Labor Unrewarding - 2003-06-24

Too Drunk To Type - 2003-06-19

Winning's a Chump's Game. Try 'slack', the new path to success and happiness - 2003-06-18

From Life and Love Must Spring Politics - 2003-06-17

An Ending - 2003-05-28

Energy and Impetus - 2003-05-19

But at what COST? - 2003-05-14

Notes From the Garden : The Process of Conditioning - 2003-05-12

Give to the Keep Mike Idle fund or I will conquer your puny nation. - 2003-05-06

Pins 'n Paper - 2003-05-05

Too Slack - 2003-04-24

Free*CENSORED*eech - 2003-04-15

Down and Out Can Be Fun! - 2003-04-07

The Clothes Make the Man - 2003-04-04

Striving For Coherency. - 2003-03-16

- 2003-03-07

On Reasons Why - 2003-03-07

We try and try... - 2003-02-22

Tonight's Theme is Donna Summers - 2003-02-18

Stateside. - 2003-02-17

Traveler's Tip Final : Never Accept Candy From Strangers - 2003-02-12

There's an Equator around here somewhere... - 2003-02-09

Birds, Billiards and Blood. - 2003-02-05

My Dear Friends... - 2003-02-04

Let's hope not... - 2003-02-02

Will Panama Defeat Him - 2003-02-02

Many Remebered Stepping Over My Prone Form... - 2003-02-01

My Opium - 2003-02-01

Whatever makes you happy... - 2003-01-27

Surfing : My Way - 2003-01-24

Buncha Psychotics, allasya - 2003-01-21

Raining, arms to the sides, spinning, pull away shot... - 2003-01-18

The Little Things - 2003-01-18

But does it have to be boiling sulfur? What about copper, or something... - 2003-01-16

Lessee, that's nine people, at about 160 pounds a person and another 40 a pack... - 2003-01-13

Crazy Stuff - 2003-01-08

Overcome your sadness with a fit of sweet American vengeance. - 2003-01-07

blank topic line - 2003-01-05

Life's Not as Bad as It Seems, But Give It Until Monday. - 2003-01-02

So then I grabbed that stupid baby, the one with the diaper that reads 2003, and drop kicked it into the lake. - 2003-01-01

Fighting Fire With Kittens - 2002-12-31

Subjectivity in Reporting : Cheap Risks You Can Take To Make Your Life More Interesting - 2002-12-28

A vs. Spy Christmas Special (Live from Granada) - 2002-12-24

Tower of Righteous Indignation Nearing Completion - 2002-12-20

Coffee doesn't help, but it certanily makes it more entertaining... - 2002-12-18

Living in the Real World (Plus rant!) - 2002-12-17

Contact Information : Nicaragua - 2002-12-16

How to utterly fail to live in Granada on five dollars a day - 2002-12-15

I Recall...Simpatico... - 2002-12-14

I Am The Sun God - 2002-12-10

I Said CENTRAL DE AUTOBUSES, DAMNED YOU! - 2002-12-10

Lost On The Border - 2002-12-10

Onward, intrepid voyager... - 2002-12-03

But the food's still the best part... - 2002-12-02

Quanajuato : The Quijote and Tequila Days - 2002-11-30

I'll try and explain myself... - 2002-11-29

You May Stop Bitching About the Cold at Your Leisure. - 2002-11-28

Those beautiful blue fields... - 2002-11-26

I'm Only to Central Mexico, and I Already Like Poland... - 2002-11-24

Now THIS is my Mazatlan (or, how the hell do you work the punctuation on these freaking spanish keyboards...) - 2002-11-23

There's nothing like a bit o' the clap to make you feel like a man...who's been with a woman...who's been with several other men... - 2002-11-20

It's all in how you spin it... - 2002-11-18

By this time tomorrow, we could be drinking shots from the naval of a cheap mexican prostitute... - 2002-11-16

Beauty in Advertising - 2002-11-13

How I Learned To Fear Greyhound - 2002-11-13

The least helpful doorman in the world. - 2002-11-13

Greyhound Bus ATE MY BALLS - 2002-11-11

How to tell when you're culture is in decline... - 2002-11-08

Man, I LOVE That Library... - 2002-11-08

Return to Denver - 2002-11-07

Ah, providence. - 2002-11-04

And So It Begins - 2002-11-02

Okay, I swear this is the last one - 2002-10-30

One last thing... - 2002-10-29

Second Verse, Same as the First - 2002-10-29

The most amazing thing... - 2000-10-29

Worrk For Jerks
2008-11-12

I work for Technicolor, now, the Technicolor that you see appear at the end of like half the movies you watch. I work archiving for them, and very shortly I will be doing this work late, late at night.

I have signed various contracts of non-disclosure about the job, mostly related to not revealing business secrets or spoiling upcoming movies for people, but I don't think I'll be in too great a violation to say that the storage routine is nightmarish, not so much in that I can't handle it, but more intellectually. I can't imagine how a business this large functions with such a system. It's like watching a car drive held together entirely by duct tape. The fact that it works seems entirely overshadowed by the inevitability of its failure.

The overall crew seems like fun, although again I can't immediately fathom exactly how it all holds together. How they approach their work seems, again, haphazard and frayed, working almost by accident. It's very much like watching ants work, realizing that each individual worker wastes a lot of energy scurrying around chemical trails trying to figure out what to do, and that most of them sooner or later figure out a patter is most definitely what all the hot scientists these days are calling emergent behavior. That's what this scenario seems like. Emergent success. (Someone find the LOL cats pic that that will be the caption to.)

I'm actually looking forward to the graveyard shift. It seems like the degree of calm and autonomy might be just up my alley. The branch I'll be working at can't be more than two miles from my house, a casual ten minutes bike ride, absolute worst case scenario. Best of all, Technicolor, though lacking in any creative contribution to the process (that I know of, anyway) is a post house, and does allow employees to train in post work, such as deck use, editing and post sound. That is something that I can get behind.

And frankly, I can get behind a job where the guy who just explained to me that I'm replacing someone who got fired due to his lack of work ethic comes in the next morning so hung over he can barely stand, much less work. As I've stated before, I can't even figure out what work ethic means in the modern world anymore. Apparently so long as I show up and fail to suicide, then we're disco.


Happy Boxing Day!!!
2008-11-04

So Clint walks into the living room and says, "Dammit I just realized that I fucked up on my ballot..."

"I accidentally wrote in Lyndon LaRouche for president."

Have a fun and safe election day, everybody!


The Noise Ordinance
2008-10-28

Ok, I lied. I'm figuring out how to form an .rss feed. I was under the impression that I needed to do this for podcast purposes. That's right, I'm started a podcast!

The Noise Ordinance

I have finally begun my Creative Commons music review project over on Salon's open blog area. My ancient college radio show, the Noise Ordinance, is now back as a weekly hour long podcast of free licensed music, as well as a regular written review of specific albums. I am trying to develop this as an actual portfolio for my writing, hence its placement at Salon instead of here, and would certainly appreciate it if friends were to give it a look, feedback, brutal criticism, etc. Oh, and it also has what I 'think' is my first hand crafted, working, .rss feed which means that despite earlier ranting, this page will probably have one shortly. Because I pamper people. I really do.